Up To You
by niuxen
Summary: Written for the @damereyevents #prsummerexchange17. Out of blue, Poe breaks things off with Rey before disappearing on a new mission. Rey puts on a brave face, but then Poe goes missing, hunted by the First Order, possibly heavily injured. Against their drama, Rey with Finn's help goes for a rescue. Can she find Poe on time?


"Where the hell is he?", Rey breathed, wiggling in her waiting spot.

Rey was used to waiting. She waited for love and family her whole life, and she never complained when Poe was being late from briefings with General Leia. Pot, kettle, black, Rey would be a hypocrite to call him out on it, while often she'd miss their dates due to Jedi training and Luke never took no for an answer, expecting full commitment from her. Rey was very serious about her teaching but felt really bad about Poe. However, he never complained once, telling her he'd forgive her anything.

This time wasn't different, although her waiting time was getting ridiculous now – she could feel a black hole forming in her stomach and Poe promised her tonight a special Captain's order in the cantina, just for her.

From a distance Rey finally noticed him, recognizing his new, leather jacket. She jogged up to him and laughed, which brought an unconditional but questioning smile to his lips.

"What are you giggling about there, young padawan?" Poe asked while her palms sneaked up his chest to clasp around his neck.

"Finn is so jealous of that jacket. He's been lamenting about being the lowest in the Resistance's food chain and about soldier's pay since you got it," Rey admitted and looked at him lovingly.

"Ugh, don't even tell me. I won't hear the end of it and I gave him the last one," Poe grumbled and tilted his head back.

They stood there in silence for a couple of moments, before Rey rose on her toes a bit, fishing for a kiss.

Only recently Rey opened herself enough to let in those new relationships into her life. Though she'd never admit it, Rey being a stubborn little thing, it was hard to deny Maz was right about her future. Resistance base became her new home not because she had no other place to go, but because its inhabitants became her big, substitute family. She was well aware she didn't make it easy for some of the most important people in her life like Poe or Finn at first. She was distancing herself from her friends, Jakku and her family clouding her thoughts against her will. Maybe it was Luke's influence or maybe just constant company of random people, but Rey just felt much more relaxed there now, even with the war going on.

In the middle of all that was Poe. Handsome Captain, good and loyal friend to her and Finn. However, to Rey, something felt different from the very beginning about the relation between her and the pilot. Unknown sensation kept bugging her every time they as much as talked. Poe constantly kept her on edge, to the point of her being annoyed at the feeling and avoiding him at first. Rey did not understand her feelings until that one final afternoon when she was left alone with Poe, who had volunteered to help fix an urgent failure with Falcon during dinner hours. Though she was grateful for his offer, Rey almost felt insulted when he insisted on supporting her. On the other hand, she was really curious why all of sudden everybody like Chewie, BB-8, Finn or even Rose was occupied, but Poe was not.

Soon Rey found out the reason behind it. Poe was everything but a time waster and asked her out somewhere in the middle of working on an air compressor. Rey wouldn't be herself if she made it easy for him, pretending not to understand what he meant at first. This little game lasted a couple of weeks. She didn't want to lead Poe on but she knew he wasn't put off by the lack of firm rejection from her side. They both knew if she wouldn't want it she'd say so loud and clear. Plus it was too much fun. However, Rey was slightly worried about the possible reaction of Master Luke.

Then one night Poe almost didn't make it home from a mission. Most of the team was waiting in the command center, half asleep, but still anticipating any sign of Poe going back home. Only Rey was fidgeting in her seat, as if she was sitting on needles, eyes glued to the computer screens. Suddenly, a small dot on the radar finally announced Black One on its way to the base. Rey immediately rose from her spot on the floor and ran out to the hangar. She never registered her moves when she saw that dark head jump out his X-wing, barely standing or registering what was happening around him. Her body crashed into his, almost knocking them both over. In the mess of bodies, her lips found his or his found hers, nobody could tell. Then the team caught up with Rey and it was the most embarrassing moment of her life but also the most blissful one. Rey didn't care because everyone overjoyed.

Here they were, months later, nothing much changed, including constant danger they all lived in. Though that only made them appreciate more each minute spent together.

Rey sobered up from her thoughts when she felt Poe's body stiff underneath hers and expected lips did not reach hers.

"Is something wrong?" puzzled Rey questioned, trying to look into Poe's eyes. His gaze avoided hers, intensely looking over her head at someone.

Poe pushed her gently aside, which allowed her to turn a bit. She could swear she saw with the corner of her eye a Jedi robe vanish behind trees.

Poe sighed and didn't reply for some time. "Can we go somewhere more private?"

"Sure," she uttered, feeling her heart sinking a bit at his tone.

Rey let him lead her through the apron over to a couple of green hills. Another memory hijacked her thoughts. Last week weather was agreeable enough to use a moment of free time, so she, Finn, Jess, Snap and Poe with BB-8 had a little picnic over there. Jess and Rey prowled canteen's kitchen for food goodies, Poe and Snap organized some blankets and Finn worked with BB-8 for some non-propaganda radio station that actually played music. That afternoon might have been the best one in her life. Laying, spread out across Poe's abdomen, eating leftover cookies and enjoying the sun for once rather than running away from it, Rey couldn't believe she chose her life in Jakku for so long, so far away from actual living.

"Remember last week? Oh, I hope we manage to repeat that," she admitted and continued to babble happily, "I know we're all really busy and we got lucky last time but..."

"Rey," Poe softly interrupted.

She looked at him with pure, chaste gaze. "Yes?"

Poe opened his mouth but froze. It seemed like he had an immense problem articulating whatever bugged his mind.

"Can you spit it out already?" Rey blurted out.

"It's over, Rey," Poe blurted out back. "You and me. I'm sorry."

Rey blinked a couple of times, trying to process his words.

"I don't understand."

"I'm sorry," were his last words. He gently rubbed her left hand with his fingers and finally let go. His eyes left hers again and he walked away never turning around. She followed him with her hard stare until he disappeared in the base entrance.

-

She made it back to her room as if she was using autopilot.

She felt no hunger, she felt no need for a shower, she felt absolutely nothing but the lack of certain, masculine warmness.

While she cocooned herself with absolutely every blanket her allotment allowed, rising anger overtook her thoughts. Since she joined the Resistance Rey was constantly abnormally surrounded by people. Yet at this moment she felt incredibly alone. Everybody kept leaving her since age 5, how long before she loses the rest of her fragile relationships?

Jakku was systems away, yet it found Rey's heart again.

-

After a full night of hard, dreamless sleep only in the morning, she found the strength to drag herself under the shower. In its warmness, Rey found back her mood and although she didn't have a training with Luke in the morning, she decided to run for the pond near the base.

She skipped the cantina, it was too early for breakfast anyway, and headed directly to the base entrance.

A fresh breeze hit Rey's face the moment she opened entrance doors. It was raining so hard she might have never left the shower.

She must have been standing there for a moment because in some time other early-risers were sleepily roaming around the base. Surprisingly one of them was Finn, who was approaching her while still stretching and yawning.

"Up so early?" Rey asked in a playful tone, raising an eyebrow. She lowered her head, looking away from him. One of many reasons she considered Finn her best friend was his ability to read her like an open book and Rey didn't need any questions in that moment.

"I could ask you the same, I have the first shift at the hangar," he spat back but smiled kindly at her. He bent down a little to find her face right away. "Okay, what's wrong?"

Rey sighed. "Nothing," and added when Finn made a face, "I really don't want to talk about it."

"Ah, okay, got it. Poe." Finn nodded and looked away with a knowing look.

Young Jedi apprentice threw her hands in the air, huffed and folded arms again. "At this point, I'm not surprised I can't keep a secret from you, and I'm the Jedi trainee here."

Finn's tone softened. "You're never sad unless it's about your beloved ones. You'll think of a way out, you'll fight tooth and nail, you'll annoy me to death, but you're never sad… until you meet a wall you cannot move." He peeked at her from the corner of his eye. "And since you and me, we're not fighting, and Leia, Luke, and Chewie are fine…"

Rey tilted her head in surrender gesture and admitted, "You're right, Poe is my unmovable wall. He broke up with me."

"What?! When?! Why?!"

"Yesterday evening, it happened a bit fast. I guess I didn't even have the sense to ask him why. Took me really by surprise."

Finn's expression turned into a serious one. "Go talk to him the moment he wakes up. He's surely out of his mind and you can talk him out of it."

Rey shook her head. "But I don't want to. If he decided so, who am I to force him into anything? It takes two into a relationship," she exhaled, putting on a resistance hoodie which meant the conversation was over. "I'll be back in two hours, wait for me with second breakfast, okay?"

Finn nodded and waved at her, watching her run away in the drench of the century.

-

"Are you out of your goddamn mind?" was the first thing Poe heard upon entering the hangar.

He didn't even look at Finn, walking past his friend.

"What are you talking about?" Poe grumbled and approached his X-wing.

Finn threw hands in the air. "So help me Force, everyone woke up this morning with dementia. You look like crap, by the way," he noted, pointing to the pilot's face.

Poe finally looked at him. Messy hair, stubble, and bags under the eyes clearly gave away he had a bad night.

Former Stormtrooper placed his palm on his friend's shoulder and said gently, "Rey."

"What did she tell you?" Poe sighed.

"Nothing specific to be honest," Finn answered. "Look, man, I know you're the last person to play with her feelings, and I know you love her and there must be something bigger behind it so… let's skip the part of the conversation where you treat me like an idiot and tell me what happened."

A long silence followed before a forced answer emerged from his lips. "She's going to be a Jedi, man. This was doomed from the beginning." Poe shook his head and headed for the equipment room, knowing Finn would follow him. "Now, I need to get ready for the mission."

"Don't tell me Luke found a new sentiment for the old rules, which never worked by the way," Finn disbelieved. "There's something more to it."

Poe handed him a small blaster, while he took a bigger one himself. "No, there isn't. Conflict of interests, man. There isn't any hidden agenda here."

They walked together to Poe's vehicle.

"Oh really? So why didn't you tell that Rey? She deserves the truth, no matter what is it." Finn paused and finally voiced his fear. "You know she's fragile when it comes to abandonment and family."

Poe made a surprised face. "Then I really thought you knew her better, even better than me, my friend." Poe looked out into the distance, his eyes following the outline of the nearby forest. "It's a dangerous world we live in, Finn, and you know Rey is physically and mentally stronger than both of us combined. Of course, I don't want to lead her on, but I also don't want her to despair the day I don't come back home… and the other way around."

Finn calmed a bit and nodded understandingly. He knew that was all he could get out of his friend at the moment. "Don't go," he pleaded. "Stay, talk to her, sit this one out."

A quiet snort left Poe's throat. He nudged Finn's left arm. "Look around, Finn. You, me, Rey… we're all soldiers with a duty that must come first."

With that, he jumped into the X-wing and quickly saluted Finn before taking off.

Finn hated his duty-comes-first excuses, but all he could do was follow

On his way back to the base Finn noticed a small but characteristic figure of General Organa in the distance. Leia nodded at Finn with a knowing smile and quickly vanished out of his sight.

-

„Brother of mine, what did you do this time?" a couple of hours later Leia's voice echoed the small meditation room that used to be a conference room. Oh, the sacrifices she and Resistance did for the last Jedi.

Luke, sitting in the middle of the floor, never opened an eye but had a mischievous smirk on his face he tried to hide but failed. He sensed his twin sister from a distance – her buzzing emotions betrayed her from a mile.

„Be more specific, dear sister, I set many pieces into movement daily."

Leia waved her hand, but she never changed her serious tone. "Be serious, Luke. I know you talked to Poe. He's a hot head, but even I never saw him that eager to get a mission where there weren't any to give."

This got Jedi master's attention. "I never told him to go to any missions."

"Well, he did. What did you tell him then? " Leia insisted.

"I didn't exactly order him anything," Luke answered and accepted Leia's hand to support him while standing up. "However, I told him Rey's training slowed down due to the nature of their relationship…"

"Oh shush, she was doing fine, I felt it," she interjected.

"…and suggested to stop the distractions he was providing," he finished matter-of-factly.

"Luke," Leia whispered and shook her head, "you basically told him to break up with her."

He narrowed his eyes. "Why does General Organa care?"

"Because," irritated, Leia breathed, "after everything that happened, I care about my soldier's well-being!"

"I stand my ground though, Leia," Luke admitted and put both his palms on his sister's shoulders, "She asked me to train her. I need her full focus. Their bond is already too strong in so little time."

Leia remained silent for a moment, and as her eyes followed her brother who reached for a pitcher. "Is this something Yoda would ask you to do? Would you sacrifice a little love in this world for a bit longer training?"

A hand shook and some of the water landed on the small table and on the floor.

"I mean," she continued, "it's not like you sacrificed or stopped your own training, right?"

"You know I did it for you," he answered gently.

Leia did not reply, a little smirk slipping onto her lips.

"I did it for Rey's own good, the Jedi teachings…" he started.

"I know, I know," Leia reassured, "but… If there's anything Han ever taught me…"

This time Luke interrupted her. "Han taught you anything?" he chuckled.

"It's that the lives we live, the danger… we ought to make room for love, for life is short," she emphasized.

Luke nodded slowly. "How do I fix it?"

Leia walked away and reached the metal doors, "You're not exactly subtle at all times, brother. Hopefully, this won't need fixing," she smiled. "Come, have a dinner with me."

-

General and the Jedi only managed to reach the main corridor, when Finn jogged up to them, a terrified expression on his face.

"General! It's bad!" he breathed.

"What, what is it?" Leia gesticulated, rushing him to tell more.

'We've lost connection with Poe's machine, BB-8 doesn't respond," Finn spilled and lead Leia and Luke to the operation room. "Just before we lost connection with him, we detected First Order activity in Berra system."

"I sent Poe to Berra II moon," Leia groaned. "How do they know about this tiny base there?"

Rey shook her head, as she approached everybody at the planning table, "He never reached Berra II, BB-8 only managed to send us last distress call, that they were probably going to crash on the Jovian planet…"

Finn continued, "We still can't reach him, we don't know where he landed on it or if he escaped First Order. Jovian is an enormous planet, and even if we didn't pick up from imperial frequencies that they caught a rebel there, it's only a matter of time."

"We have to find him," Rey said firmly. "Before they find him."

Leia and Luke exchanged looks. No one could stop her, not that anyone was planning to, but Resistance couldn't take those risks for a single man.

"I can't give you more men than ones that will volunteer. Rey, Poe knew the risks," Leia opposed and put a hand on young girls shoulder.

"We will find volunteers," Finn said at the same time as Rey said, "I can find him myself."

Silence fell and Finn was still searching for Luke's final approval. So Luke nodded, and the moment he did the two young people disappeared from the room to organize a rescue mission.

Rey managed to get someweapons, including grabbing her light-saber, and she fired up the Falcon in record time, while Finn gathered Chewie and Rose and some black squadron members.

Not an hour later everybody was set in either the Falcon or X-wings.

"Where the hell is he?" Rey whispered as she steered the Falcon towards Jovian. She had to find him before the First Order did. She owned him a punch and he owned her some answers. Rey wasn't ready to leave it at this.


End file.
